Happy 21st Birthday Alvin! Well, in case you didn't know, χρόνια πολλά is the Greek equivalent for Happy Birthday. It is pronounced 'Chronia polla'. It means 'many years', which implies 'may you have a long life'. I don't usually feature people on my blog, so this is a rare occasion huh. :)
Though I've only known you for barely two months, its been plenty of fun, hasn't it? :) Next time must join me and get the others to go out for 'emo' walks at night, which will be even more fun once winter sets in! What could be better than a cold and emo walk down by the creek? Or better still, lake? ;) I'm not joking, I'm serious... And I'm perfectly sane, or I would prefer to believe that I am. Haha.
Once more, Happy 21st Birthday :)
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Happy Birthday Alvin!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Melancholic-Phlegmatic
I just did a personality test at 4.30am. Don't ask me why. I just did so. While I do enjoy the novelty of doing such tests without taking them seriously, this particular test struck home. To all those who have been wondering for a long while, the results of this personality test I took is an almost perfect answer to who I am. In fact, it is a better description of myself than I could ever craft.
The melancholic-phlegmatic is tidier, more procedural and less flexible than the phlegmatic-melancholic. He may be slower to take on new projects, as the melancholic fear of new situations and tendency to perfectionism takes over. The double-dose of introversion, along with the melancholic tendency to negativity, makes it difficult for him to give compliments and make upbeat small talk. It also causes him to instinctively say “no” when he first hears a request. Others may perceive this as “snobbishness.” Unless the melancholic-phlegmatic is very comfortable, and is surrounded by understanding long-time friends, he may find himself somewhat isolated and alone, unable to warm up in a social gathering. He is less critical and less grudge-bearing than a pure melancholic or a melancholic-choleric. However, the tendency of the melancholic to dwell on things for a long time in their mind, combined with the sensitivity of the phlegmatic toward interpersonal relationships, can result in long-lasting hurts, an erosion of self-confidence and self-esteem, and even depression. Extremely sensitive and possessing a longing for the ideal (melancholic), they are also highly attentive to what others need or desire, through their phlegmatic aspect. This makes them more than usually susceptible to anxiety and a negative self-image
This temperament combination is highly driven to succeed—not for success’ sake alone, but because their melancholic nature is drawn to high ideals, and their phlegmatic side will have a strong desire to please. Thus, they are capable of long-range planning, organization, and attention to detail that makes them excellent and conscientious scholars. They are capable of pursuing highly idealistic goals, usually with long-term academic requirements, such as attaining their doctorate. They value their friendships, but can spend many hours alone reading or studying. They may have a tendency to hypochondria or to genuine physical weaknesses, as well as a tendency to timidity and anxiety, especially about new activities or ventures.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Beyond Hope
If Hope was that faint gleam on the horizon; yet a thousand or even ten thousand steps in that direction brings you no closer, one should really wonder - what lies beyond it? Why do I pursue after it so doggedly, despite being let down every time?
Its gleam waxes and wanes according to no cycle; it is not governed by any rhyme or reason. Life, with her seemingly capricious and volatile moods, dictates my position on the spectrum of melancholy and loneliness. I do not know, perhaps an eternal night of despair lies beyond hope? Or a better world, free of false hopes; in which hopes are free to take off and soar, only to be struck down and brought back to earth by reality? As of the present, its glow has faded to a barely visible speck adrift in the black night. And so off I slip into the dark wilderness alone once more.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sydney Trip
The Sydney pictures are so waaay long overdue, but here they are anyway.
(L -> R) James, Me, Alvin, Christina and Trina at a dim sum restaurant
Cam-whoring by Sydney Harbour
Guy's room. I took the upper level single bed and filmed the threesome below was blissfully ignorant of the covert activities going on under the cover of darkness below.
Roast chicken duck and pork!
Yea!!
Spicy Korean Toufu
Western Dinner by Sydney Harbour
Krispy Kremes
The famed Sydney Harbour
The Posers by Sydney Harbour... :)
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Prayer of the Long-Sufferer
A meaningful poem/prayer that I stumbled across last year. Whether you agree or not, it is a timely reminder that the weakness embodied within us is not there for no apparent reason.
I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health, that I might do greater things.
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing I asked for - but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I among all men, I am most richly blessed!
- Anonymous
Delicate Balance
Balance; a single point on a line of infinite points where equilibrium is reached. Veer a little to the left or right, and the whole system spirals into infinity or worse still, comes crashing down like a card house. It is a notion revered by philosophers such as Aristotle as the pinnacle of perfection. Aristotle's Golden Mean, for one, proclaims that every virtue lies sandwiched between two vices. For example, courage runs between cowardice and foolhardiness; modesty is bounded between shamelessness and bashfulness.
I'm currently engaged in the process of balancing myself on this see-saw I call Life. Should a foot deviate an inch or two, the precarious equilibrium is quickly shattered. At one end awaits a wilderness of insanity, while the other scarcely a better option- a cesspool of decadence. Finding the equilibrium point within and between two mutually conflicting priorities seems to be more elusive than ever. Yet I will not give up trying.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Laughter in the Rain
It's been another stormy day. Yet another day of being drenched. Yet another day of shivering in the autumn chill.
Isn't it tempting to shed one's tears amidst the storm? The mingling of streaming tears and raindrops offers a veil between oneself and the world. Few, if any would guess that those rolling droplets on your cheeks were actually tear drops.
When masks eventually unbound, it can be an ordeal at times to navigate life with a relatively frail social footing and little support to keep my balance. Yet I manage to get by, somehow. I've burnt my bridges and turned my back on my kind in exchange for something hitherto unknown. I've realized that a new dawn does not necessarily promise a better day. Was I blinded by naivety or blind hope itself, perhaps? Whatever the case, the answer is irrelevant, but only the outcome matters.
Yet beyond the tears, there lingers on hope for a brighter day of joy. For that, I laugh in the midst of the storm.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Shoes
What's it like wearing a new pair of shoes? A seemingly ill-fitting pair. A pair that tends to leave your feet in a state of raw blisters. There are only to possible outcomes: either the shoe breaks to accommodate the foot or the foot responses to such changes by developing calluses.
Hang on a minute, there are other alternatives.
Throw it away??
Nah, if I actually did so I'll have to walk around barefooted. Traversing the wilderness alone on barefoot is not the most appealing of ideas. I've lost count of the years ever since I wandered in here, to dwell on the fringes of society; to be seen but not heard; to despair and be resigned to fate. Oh, the masks needed to slip unnoticed among the people! I can only hazard a guess of people's reaction to the truth.
The cacophony of life rings loud indeed.
Sigh
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Congrats
Congrats to my dearest sis who scored 12 A1s for her SPM examinations. With all your 'hard work' and 'effort' you did very well! :D
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Friday, March 7, 2008
Change
I think that I think too much at times. At times, my mind has a tendency to verge onto improbable postulations and unnecessary pondering. By and by, there are constants which will always remain, well, constant. That simply means, at the end of the day, some things just won't change. Tales of rolling beds of roses over here which people conjured up seem to be more elusive than ever.
Things I miss since coming to Canberra:
1. Home and family
2. Good food (In retrospect it may be a good thing as I've lost weight :) )
3. Good friends of whom I can relate to, thus reducing the need for a steely social mask.
Perhaps my social skills could use an overhaul. Or else the ghosts of yesterday will return to haunt me?
Sigh
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Orientation Week
The Orientation Week that never was. At least, that was how the week went by for me personally. Orientation week stretched from the 18th till the 24th of February. I did jump into some activities, not without some reservations and less-than-applaudable enthusiasm. Instead, I opted to spend the week with a bunch of people who consisted mostly of Singaporeans. I tell you, they are damn kiasu people ah! Just joking la... If anything, my brief stint in INTEC (my college) back in 2007 affirmed my belief that Malaysians have no claim to a higher moral plane when it comes to kiasuism.
Australian Flag at Parliament
Ursula residents (or known affectionately as Ursies) posing at Parliament
First Years' Dinner
Coffee Crawl(L->R) John, Zoe, Me, Kailin
I went up a hill next to the campus called Black Mountain with my friends. The route uphill was rather steep at several points but it was healthy fun nevertheless.
Base of Black Mountain(L->R) Me, Melvin, Natalie, Trina, Christina, Alvin, James
At the summit of Black Mountain in Telstra Tower
Trip completed! Dead tired but no regrets.
Military-themed party(?)(L->R) Alvin, Me, James, Melvin
So that's how Orientation Week passed. I enjoyed every moment of it even though many of our activities were spontaneously devised to substitute the official Ursula Hall (my residential college) O-week programme. While I do not suppose that the official programme was inadequate, but rather I would not have felt comfortable participating in typical orientation week activities. I guess deep inside I still am the same boring and mildly anti-social individual. Haha...
I also passed time by going down town into the city of Canberra to shop, watching movies and playing computer games via LAN. I'm thankful for the great bunch of friends I met here in Ursula Hall. Think about it, having friends is possibly the best ward against homesickness and a whole range of other problems. All in all, orientation week proved to be a great week! Next, onto the lectures... sigh.
I also passed time by going down town into the city of Canberra to shop, watching movies and playing computer games via LAN. I'm thankful for the great bunch of friends I met here in Ursula Hall. Think about it, having friends is possibly the best ward against homesickness and a whole range of other problems. All in all, orientation week proved to be a great week! Next, onto the lectures... sigh.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Canberra
It has been over a fortnight since I arrived here in Canberra. I arrived here on the 13th of February. It was a journey brimming of apprehension and hope. There was apprehension as I was leaving home for a foreign land the very first time in my life. Leaving the security of family and friends and to a certain extent, my homeland proved to be a combo that was tough to swallow. Swallow I did, but not without shedding any tears. Yet there was hope of new doors opening; a clean slate promising to erase the screw ups of yesterday. The end of one chapter marks the beginning of the next. So turns a page...
Welcome to Canberra, Australia
The scenery here in Canberra is breathtaking. The Australian flora and fauna gave me a surreal sensation when I arrived initially, being so used to the standard green shades of tropical plants.
Black swans
So that's all for a day! I'll be blogging more about how I spent my orientation week (which really wasn't that productive, taking into account that I skipped about 90% of the activities).
Canberra is a new dawn in life. I may be naive for believing that things will change for the better, but hope is a fair enough reason to keep me going.
I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
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