Ever had a dream you longed to breathe life into it and embrace its actual form? Yet some things are just never meant to be. There is the self that desire seemingly unattainable dreams, and it only remains unattainable primarily because of one's self. A rather paradoxic statement at first glance, yet the truth contained begins to ring aloud after some thought. Think about it for a moment, how many dreams have you dashed simply because you failed to allow yourself to pursue it (whatever the consequences). In my case, it is something I long for, yet it is I that steadfastly constrain myself. A prisoner, yet simultaneously playing the role of a prison warden.
Yet all I have is
Hope - the belief of a better tomorrow, rational or otherwise.
There could be nothing worse than the lost of hope.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
A Dream Unrealised
Monday, April 7, 2008
Adrift
It should have been imprisoned in the distant past, yet glimpses of it on a daily basis never fail to evoke those memories which haunt me. Bits and pieces of yesterday piece together to form a portrait of agony for tomorrow.
No roots- no respect or recognition. Such simplistic logic equates to rejection, made all the more severe by the fact that it is done by my own people. What am I, but adrift, if my own people and country will not accept me?
It was my past, yet it shall also be my future.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Thorns
Its been 4 months since I made that fateful decision to undergo a self-imposed exile.
Well, not in the literal sense, but choosing to sever old (dysfunctional?) social ties without any alternatives to hang onto may be perceived as foolhardy by many. I typically consider myself to be heavily risk-adverse, but in this case I have no concrete answers as to why I threw caution to the wind. Could it be that I have had enough of the persistent irritants, which are nothing more than thorns? 
I must admit that I went into it as a blind gamble, but as with the game of life, you win some, you lose some. Then again, there are the moments of cold dejection after constantly learning that life will rarely, if ever cut you any slack.
It's been almost two years already, hasn't it? Yes, its been that long since I've had to wear those forced smiles and hollow laughter to mask the revulsion and acrimony. I never fail to see through those back-handed compliments and knowing smirks.
However, this round I have the last laugh. So live with it or blah.
